To be strong is not easy.

Tajuk sbnrnya tidak menggambarkan kandungan penulisan.
This is actually a e-diary entrance. Nothing much. Just my day.
Yesterday.

Semalam was quite a horrible day for me. Iman was unwell-he was vomiting, not drinking milk and berak berak. In 4hrs (7.30am-11.30am) he had vomited 4times at his BS and pass motion twice. At 1.30pm we went to fetch hime and brought him to our favorite clinic nearby.

Mak on the other hand was in Putrajaya Hospital havng her cataracts removed. A full anaestetia (how to spell this?help!-i even could not spell gyneocology -see?)..ok lah she had her body full bius, which left her feeling very nauseous and could not walk straight. She was admitted at 7.30am, was the first in line for the operation theater and was dicharged at 1pm. Cepat kan? I was really worried all the time at work (yes, i worked yesterday) and could not concentrate. At 1pm, i finished all my tasks for the day and was granted with a half day.

That is when we fetched Iman and baby amsyar and all their clothes and milk and all those what-so-ever baby needs from the house.Kept the EBM from the morning session and off we went. Iman was already flat but was really content to see us. He had just a bottle of juice with him made by his BS. My mom (tho br lepas surgery) reminded me that milk will just induce vomitting. Betul la tu kot. I'm not sure.

Sampai kat clinic, doctor kata maybe just keracunan makanan. Just? I hope so. She prescribed us with ubat tahan muntah, some ubat angin and oral dehydration salt to be consumed. We'll see from there la kot. Bought some pisang goreng and air kelapa on the way for him and alhamdulillah, iman looks pinker. But still he rejects milk.

That night, at mom's after monitoring his condition, i gave him milk. 1 hour after that, he vomitted.

Again.OK..no more milk. I've made some thin milo for him. So that he could go to sleep. He slept. We brought him home. at 12midnite- he vomitted again. Despite all the ubat tahan muntah. I was already exhausted, after all the cleaning of Iman's mess, cooking at Mom's for all her guests before who came to visit and all. I pumped some more milk for Amsyar's miss out sessions for the day and passed out somewhere near 2am. 

I woke up at 5am with Iman's sobbing. He already poo-ed in his diapers. Maybe he was not confortable and was forced to wake up. We went washing off his mess in the early hours and tried to get some more sleep afterwards.At least if could get another hour would be already nice for me. Amsyar was already awake that time. His morning milking time. His routine. But no-Iman was still sobbing. Hubby gave him some plain water so that he would doze off, but no-he was still sobbing. By last, we end up Iman on my left and Amsyar on my right latching on.

***

That was this morning. Now i'm already at work-still exhausted after my morning coffee. I'm awfully sorry for Iman that i could not be there beside him today. As i need to work. This is the worst feeling ever. Leaving your own sick child. I feel like quitting my job to just be home for them. I hope kak wan my babies' caretaker will do her best for them but still, it should never be at par of how we treat our own children.

If you are a stay at home mom and happen to read this- please be really really grateful that you have your time to raise your own children. And have a single income that could support you to live in harmony. I wish i could quit my job and be at home, but really- today's economy doesn't allow me to do so. I think I'm not alone.

I just need to be strong for now and pray for the best.

And just continue working.