Finding Me-self.Again.

Salam ladies,

How are you today?

Hehehe....kerja seperti biasa? Me? Still in confinement, tapi skrg azam baru

.Each time both heroes are asleep kita buka blog, either menulis or blog hop or blog shop, tak kira la.

Sometimes writing for me, is a stress reliever. Sendiri tulis, sendiri baca.

Duduk2 saje kat umah layan anak2 ni kadang2 buat kan i think a lot about my self, my growing family. What i have done..what i have achieved..what should i do next. Bila kelapangan tak payah fikir pasal design mendesign tapi gaji buta still masuk baru la ada masa nak fikir pasal diri sendiri. 

Dulu masa still belajar, each semester I'll start with a target for that semester.Kadang2 tercapai..kadang2 tidak..but at least my aim to be my course best student for my convo tercapai. Alhamdulillah. Merasa mak and bapak duduk barisan depan dlm dewan convo. merasa juga diorg makan hi-tea dok semeja dgn lecturers and VVIPs. Alhamdulillah. Bila mak seronok..automatic i feel blessed :)

Tu cerita zaman dulu. Skrg?

Bila dh tamat belajar. Bila dh masuk industry. Kerja mcm kuli kat negara sendiri. Seriously, designers in P1 are really underpaid. We are not industrial designers yg pilih kaler apa cantik, design bontot nk tajam ke bulat..mana yg cantik yerr? Oh no-no.Tu bab estetika is under styling design. Our task is basically engineering designing. To put parts in a puzzle way so that car performs as it should. My task? Thermo related. Siapa yg masa study dulu kena repeat or nearly fail subject thermodynamics/thermokinetics? susah kan? itu lah yg kitorg buat hari2. Bila dibanding dgn ideas and tenaga yg dikerah..mmg xsetimpal dgn byran. Pregnant 9mths pun still attend meetings, attend trials. Masuk bawah kereta. Sampai kdg2 check parts dlm kereta prototype, perut sangkut2 kat tepi kereta. Almaklumlah dh memboyot.

Bila keluar je kereta, org malaysia pakat kutuk2.Sedih. Padahal yg mengutuk tu, dok buat apa for a living? malas nak ckp lah..nti kna banned plak kan?Diorg ingat kitorg ni dibayar mahal ke?Yet we still wake up each morning to come early at work.

Alhamdulillah.I have a career. But how about advancements in career? Should I be jumping around within the industry.Maybe? Or maybe not. P1 is quite convenient for me. Solat bleh bila2 masa2. Benefits byk.  Beli rumah dpt subsidi. Bersalin, hospitalization and outpatient clinic free.

Tapi sampai bila nk duduk tertindas?Aha..mm..

Asyik terfikir..sampai bila bleh survive dlm environment begini?

Bestnya..kalau dapat jd fulltime housewife.

hari2 dok dgn anak2 saja..kemas2 rumah.homeschooling my boys. 

Cooking their favorite meal.baking.sewing perhaps? But need to be housewife with a target to achieve la.

A KPI. Kena jadi housewife yg organized. Yang ada jadual harian. Yang ada weekly targets. kalau dpt generate income dr rumah lagi bagus :)

Else..jadilah depserate housewife..bila dh hilang arah atau takde target..bosan la jadinya~

Mmm..

So azam baru - to work harder and more systematic than before. be like i used to be :)

To work hard on what we already have..hehe.semangat!

I need to admit that being pregnant, then pregnant again really did put off some fire inside me in terms of work. Malas nak kejar deadlines.And work just to pace.Do things for the sake of just doing.Bukan malas, tapi i was focusing on other things.More important things in life.

Ponding over things I have..to really be a subject matter expert.Before moving on.

Yes, I will be moving on..cuma belum plan betul2 bila.

Just need to stop asking a lot of why's.

And start saying...why not.

Celebrating my all-time fav leader DSZ.

Change starts with me.

May my good wishes all come true.

Love,

Zahra