Strength to carry on.

I really don't know where to begin.Well, I have not many followers or readers so I really tend to keep this memo as a memory for my self. A note of the happenings around me. Well that is really the reason for me to blog in first place actually.

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A friend of mine told me that somethings that are good/bad are better being shared with others so that other people could pray for you as well. A good thought- i think!~
Thank you my dear friend. I'm the type who always prefer to believe in silver linings on each clouds.Seeing the best behind what mishaps happen and try to be grateful of what we already have.

But tell you the truth its very hard.
Its hard to be strong. Even to pretend to be strong.
Sometimes, watching Iman's innocent face while he sleeps in my arms gave me the strength I needed. I need to be strong for this little man. This little human being who beams up each time he sees my face. And smiles every morning when i wake him up to change his nappy before going to his babysitter.
My strength, my sunshine, my pride.
My lil hero.


To be frank, yes - I'm now  10 weeks pregnant. Again.
An accident? No.A miracle. A bliss.
Alhamdulillah.Happy to conceive again.
Twice the UPT test.And there's the two lines.
Alhamdulillah. We're content.

So off we went on with our lives as usual and the nauseas came to visit starting on the seventh week. Then finally we decided to have our first scan on the 9th week.
Last weeks check-up and first scan sent me devastated.
The sac was there. Size up to what it supposed to be.In the womb-exactly where it should be.
But the baby could not be found.
Whatt??All these nausea and yet no baby?I was really really upset. The mood and the morning sickness had also worsen the feeling.

But my gynea said that maybe her equipments are not that good and propose to me to get a scan from under. Yes-popping a microphone-like device from your vagina to get a better look. But she does not have that in her clinic- and would write a referral letter instead. Her prediction - we maybe need to have a D&C. Yeah, I remembered quite well how developed Iman looked during our 1st scan in 7wks before. And surely we should be able to see him already in 9wks.Mmm...

I preferred Hospital Putrajaya as always- as some private hospitals are not that hygienic and are not really equipped with up-to-date medical devices and sometime even blood bank supplies (scary isn't it?). Yeah,I'm not kidding-government hospitals are much much much more trustful. Trust me.

I'm due for the check-up next Tuesday.
Let me enjoy this Aidil-adha first before any bad or good news. Hari raya would be not much fun if you have to run through your confinement period in it. Whether to go under D&C (Oh Allah give me strength to let go of this baby) or to be strong enough for this new addition to our small family.
Another lil angle for me :)
All those little toes. little nose, tiny ears and all. :)

I'm hoping I'll be strong for this.Please Allah give me the strength I needed in facing this.

Friends- please do pray for me. For the best for me, for the baby.

For our small family.

I believe that Allah has good plans for us and He will test his creatures based on the strength He has given them. I feel blissed. Pregnancy is always a bless. As some of my dear friends are praying really hard each day to conceive and waiting anxiously each month to be late. But Allah has better plans for them.

Wallahualam

Selamat Hari Raya Eidul Adha peeps!
May all of you have a nice hari raya!
Jangan mkn daging kuat sgt raya2 ni..nti kna darah tinggi/gout pula!~
:)

To my friends who are still in confinement..sabar ajela.
Rendang daging must looked even tastier skrg!hehehehe....





Love,

Zahra