New year's Resolution

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I just want to write this here. I went to a training recently and learnt that we cannot really remember things we 'mentally' note only. List down and write so that we can read it and register. And we only need 14 consecutive days doing a thing to make it a habit. So good luck to all of you as well.

This year I have nothing more than to wish to keep my solats on time. Solat kalau boleh diawal waktu.Inshallah. May Allah ease this for me. That's all for me. Amin



I wish Allah really grant each and every wish of Mak and bapak. Since 18 yrs old, everyday I prayed that even if I couldn't give anything to them, I takmau menyusahkan mereka. That's all. And today I really wish Allah ease them for all they wished for. Amin.

I just feel that I wanted to be better this year :) Inshallah. Let's start with baby steps.

**Iman keeps on asking on tauhid questions which left me sometimes uneasy. Simple questions of a three years old like, Allah suka color apa? Allah suka Ayam ke ikan? Kalau mommy xnak kwn Iman, Iman kawan dgn Allah je.. Mashallah.may how I get all the strength (and creativity) to answer correctly for his age. Amin!



Love,

Zahra

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Hello January 2015!!!!!!!

Happy new year :)
New hopes new year new age.
May Allah ease it for all of us :)

Amin

Tak kesah lah when some ppl says this is tahun masihi, saya sambut awal muharram sahaja..sukahatilah.Bukan bende haram. Kalau kita nk declare my new year starts on my birthday pun tiada yg larang. Proton calender year starts 1st April BTW :)

Niatkan sahajalah ini tarikh yg ku ingin mulakan tabiat2 yg lbh baik dr sblumnya. Tarikh yg akan bermula azam n cita2 baru. Tiada masalah :p

**somebody got his 1st trip to the barber experience today.alhmdulillah :) no tears. Style rambut pachak OK 2015 :)

Have a nice long off day. Esok (2hb) and Monday saya cuti :) Bye bye office for 5days..he he he


Enjoy ur new year peeps!

Love,

Zahra

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A love tale

Love is always something special for me. 

Oh yes I'm just always hopelessly romantic like that.haha. Coming across a huge pregnant picture of me this morning, reminded me how wonderful was being pregnant like. Someone really important to me was growing inside of me. Mmg seronok. Now I'm home, laying down taking some time back from work, with two mini guys running around the house. Two mini versions of half me and half the person I love.

This reminded me of my own stories. im no beauty queen but life had given me my fair share :) I had reruns ofseveral episodes of my love stories. During highschool, it was all ups and downs and under and over but never the real thing. I found my 1st love when I was 19. And he was 5yrs older than me. He was way from North Africa. Oh yes he's an African hailing all the way from Chad. He's nice and gentle and a great Muslim. A final year IT student. Everything was nice that time until I was slapped into reality when I realized we could never get married. Then everything was getting much harder and we went desperate and seperated ways when I was in 2nd yr that time.

Then a 53yrs old (then) Malay trainer approached me during my facilitating days. I was 21, a camp counselor and an active camper. I joined a few summer camps and was actively involved in jungle trekkings and mountain climbing, and sleeping under the stars was becoming a routine. This old man was 53 but looked 33, was a retired soldier and wanted me as 3rd wife. I dated him and after a year we parted ways. I was dead crazy back then I guess ..pheww.. 3rd wife? What was I thinking!

I was lost and my semester pointer dropped to 3.0 that time, when one of my lecturers saved me. He was an Egyptian, with green eyes and a great heart and was a top professor in the campus. He noticed my grades. Well, he kind of noticed a lot of other things about me altogether. Hahaha. Time passed by and I was caught again in the love triangle. I don't know why but I have this soft spot for old guys that time. I swore by the name that young men could never win my heart..oh my of course I didn't realized how wrong could that be..hahaha

He was 38 and I was 22, but that was not an issue that time. My grades was great that time. I scored 3.9 at most but never scored flat 4.0. Well, I was dating an academician what do you expect.hahaha. It was all sugary and candy canes and butter mints until I got to know that he was already married! Married ok. I dated him 4yrs and how I didn't notice. It was really stupid. So that was the end of it. The end.

I dated another guy not long after. He was 2yrs older, worked in proton tgmalim and married with a kid but I didn't quite cared. Hahaha. He quited proton in 2009 and joined the government sector and was a great guy. I knew from the beginning that this will nvr work but just went on w the flow. We went out on alternate nights, the nights he was occupying his wife I went out with other guys.hahaha.. We stopped went his wife found out and went all gaga about it.hahhaha..gila.

Then by end of 2009 I had enough of men, and found my way a little bit closer to Allah and gave all my hopes and faith to Him in who he had chose to be the love of my life. I registered myself for masters study to find a good way umm to use my ample time and how to spend the money I earned. I prayed to Him for what he bestowed upon me as I was already ready to allow myself be forever alone.

1mth later, back from the 1st day of class in my newly registered sarjana school, a dark guy caught my attention by asking me about R3 cars. He was slim, handsome, talks with a pantaitimur accent and smelt nice. Then one thing led to another, i realized that this guy had great eyes, great confidence and a great heart. He won me with his antics, oh my. We were from different worlds but the spark was already there. Everything was alive, spontaneous and sparkling bright. We were much in love of course.We got married 6months after :)

To be frank, true love came when I least expected. He was 2yrs younger, and had a list of emma maembong look-a-likes as girlfriends with a reputation of more than one at once, even his father was surprised he chose me. And of course his father agreed with my motherly traits kehkehkeh.

Approaching 5yrs of marriage I am still hopelessly in love with this handsome guy and pray to Allah our jodoh is strong enough to bring us both, and our children blessed upon us to Jannah. Amin.

For the earlier 20s of my life, for all the people I met earlier in my life are all with reasons. And I forgive u all. Inshallah.

Amin.

posted from Bloggeroid

Spilling out the beans

Its approaching the end of year 2014
As I've registered both boys to Arif minda for 2015, its a goodbye to their 2nd mom
4thn sekelip mata rasanya. Dari ubun merah dan tapak kaki sebesar dua jari, kakak ini mengasuh Iman dan kemudiannya amsyar.Minggu ini minggu terakhir sebelum amsyar pun menjejak kan kaki ke playschool 3thn :) mommy pula yg sebak.

Tiada ucapan terima kasih yg setimpal boleh diungkapkan buat kakak ku ini.tiada pertalian darah namun sudah dianggap saudara. Anak2 dijaga lebih dr sempurna.alhmdulillah :)

Yesterday I have finally got the strength to burst the news. Takdelah news sgt. I just told her yg this will b the boys final week here. Her expression changed, she looked genuinely sad. Well I'm sad of course. Its hard to find trust and its not perfection that I'm searching for but Kakwan is near to perfect for me. Trust is a huge thing and I took quite some time at first. As time goes on it builts up of course. But life goes on as she says it, and we're letting go and the boys aren't babies no more. Sedih.

Today and tomorrow, will be the two last days..we're all emotionally hurt right now but Inshallah the ukhuwah will never end. Amsyar is her anak susuan, so we'll for sure keep in touch inshallah..ukhuwah fillah.

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Raining Christmas day. Banjir besar di pantai timur

We're just staying indoors at grandma's today and its just past asar. Its still raining here in sepang.wonder how it's there up east coast of Malaysia today.the flood is getter worse by day :'(


Don't really feel like writing. As the musibah in pantai Timur feels just too close to the heart.

Doakan mereka selamat semua hendaknya :'(





























Membayangkan anak2 sebaya Iman n amsyar yg dlm kelaparan n kesejukan :'(

Moga Allah lindungi mereka.
Amin ya rabbal alamin

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