Homeschooling activities :: Iman, puzzles and workbooks

Iman is 3 this year.

In exact, today he turns 38mths. And he already attends playschool everyday.

My objective actually was just to introduce him to a new world,where he could play n learn, and grow relationships with new friends. I'm not really into pushing him in completing his homework and putting a target of he must achieve a certain level of reading books. Well he's only 3, and the world was supposed to revolve around him, still.

Alhamdulillah, at 3, Iman's terrible two issues subsided. He's now more attentive and loves the flexibility i gave him in doing whatever he wants with his workbook. It's sometimes entertaining to watch how he sees things in his book. Be it matching animals with silhouettes or drawing the nose and eyes of an empty face, Be point is really to encourage him to answer why he did this and that. Why he colored the elephant pink or the horse blue. And may the rainbow have all the colors of the world if he wants it to. Let the imagination grow. At this age, nothing is wrong. For me, to do the correct thing in workbook is not really the main objective at this age :)

Well, it is really up to you as a parent to point your kid in any direction you liked. For me, small children are all unique, even close siblings. Each and everyone differs from each other individually and some traits were already with the child since birth. I'm really against force and spoon feeding, and if I things get to go my way, I choose to home-school my children and let them sit for O-level at 14. Only if. Sobs.

It is supposed to be fun and full of excitement growing up, so mom's don't fret, if your small child does not finish his homework at 5yrs old. I seldom finish mine at 10. Hehehe.

I love to look at things differently actually. In Iman's and Amsyar's home-school sessions, I tried to put aside things that looked like 'schooling'. We'll have activities 30mins for each at most. And move from one activity to another if the attention is already changed or the mood had already swayed.

Amsyar may not be able to sing abc or read but he can now differenciate t-rex from stegosaurus, and knows branchiosaurus eats greens.and iman counts baby maiosaura in its nest up to 10. But sometimes a cuddle and a storybook just makes it more than enough for us too. Alhmdulillah.

Sometimes a game of puzzle is a good matching and compute game for toddlers. As both does not yet recognize letters, Iman helps amsyar match by color, and shape. I would rather watch and observe how both solve problems. Its amazing what a 3yr old could tell and explain to lil 2 yr old brother :)

Both loves books, like mommy and we can now have reading sessions upstairs while daddy finish his football match.Of course mommy with mommy's book and a cup of coffee, while the boys whether read to themselves or share a book for two.heaven just how I liked it to be. Im a bookworm of course and daddy's not.and I would really want my boys to find the joy and excitement I found in books.I love watching then mingle with books. 

I have tons at home.and many torn and destroyed as well by them.but as I have mentioned before, let them be. Books can be bought easily, the interest is not. Once u lost them, it will be really difficult to instil them again :)

Well, just some ideas for the weekend fun at home.

Love,

Zahra

Interesting article : Ada apa dengan Anak Sulong

Assalamualaikum lovelies.
(Yang berjanggut bermisai pun xpelah..i sekali kategorikan lovelies! ;p)

My first born : Zulhadzrey Iman, has his own head, does things his own ways and i could say very independent indeed. Being the first of the the very first (1st grandchild on bothsides to first-born parents (ye..saya sulong, so as hubby)), he is surely one of a kind. He's one brave boy, very high spirited, and not to mention strong willed. The difference could be clear seen against his brother, amsyar. He could be very sweet and loving at times, and turned into the mini tanzanianDevil the next. Oh my. My house is continuously not tidy because of this little guy.But i don't quite mind. And just let it be. But sometimes i do feel and treat him so highly, i forgot that he's only 3.

This is an article i got from the net. 

Time to slap mommy in the face just to remind myself, my lil Iman is only 3.

Maafkan mommy.

Credited to : Ibu Miah

KESALAHAN YANG TIDAK DISEDARI : Tidak berlaku adil kepada anak SULUNG

ANAK SULUNG APAKAH MEREKA BERMASALAH???

Anak sulung...anak sulung....Sedarkah kita anak sulung sering kita aniayai secara sedar atau pun tidak?

Anak sulung adalah anak yang lahir dari semangat cinta dan kasih yang mendalam. Semangat seorang ibu yang mendapat anak sulungnya tentu sangat berbeza. Perasaan dan sifat keibuan yang ada padanya dicurah sebanyak dan sedapat mungkin pada si anak sulung. Anak sulung diberikan apa saja yang baik-baik, ditatang bagaikan minyak yang penuh...........tapi sebelum datangnya anak yang kedua.

Apabila mengandungkan anak yang kedua, perhatian si ibu kepada anak sulung sedikit kurang. Anak yang sulung menyedarinya seawal kandungan si ibu 4 bulan lagi. Apatah lagi jika si ibu tadi bekerja dan dalam masa yang sama menguruskan keperluan rumahtangga selepas waktu bekerja. Dalam konteks ibu bekerja, mengandung dan memberikan perhatian kepada si sulung, tentunya akan ada perkara yang akan terlepas pandang. Ada keperluan dan rutinnya yang akan berubah ...dan si sulung akan menyedarinya dan menguatkan diri sebagai satu pengalaman baru menjadi yang sulung.

Apabila si adik muncul di sisi, walau apa cara sekalipun si sulung perlu menyesuaikan diri pada yang mungkin dianggap pesaing, atau teman atau apa-apa lagi dengan naluri diri menyayangi si adik ini. Cuba anda membayangkan keadaan si sulung. Percayalah, ada yang dapat menyesuaikan diri menyayangi adik tetapi ada juga yang sering merengek, cuba memberitahu perasaan diri tentulah kepada si ibu yang selalunya tak mengerti...

Waktu terus berlaku, diri si sulung semakin membesar, tugas si ibu semakin bertambah. Jangan nafikan....mesti pada masa ini, tangan si sulung sangat bernilai. Si sulung mula mengambil alih sedikit tugas-tugas membantu, juga pada masa yang sama si ibu yang kepenatan mula bertukarlaku. Nak garang masa inilah kan. Di minta diambilkan cawan dan si sulung pun terpinga-pinga, banyak betul kosa kata ibu ni yang aku tak tahu rupanya. Hah! singa, naga, harimau tetapi selalunya tarzan mula hidup bersama-sama, mula memainkan peranan. Kesian si sulung...selalunya tidak faham kehendak si ibu. Bahasa sayang mula bertukar menjadi ayat-ayat suruhan yang banyak.

Si sulung mesti tahu...kau yang sulung mesti tahu! Sedarkah kita akan kosa kata anak sulung kita pada masa ini... Betulkah mereka faham akan apa yang kita sampaikan, yang selalunya kesalahan mereka membuahkan kemarahan kita. Harapan si ibu terlalu tinggi. Pukul....siapa tidak pernah memukul anak sulung mereka. Suruh...Marah...Pukul....rutin baru dalam hidup si sulung itu

.

Apa jadi kepada anak kedua???????? Play safe mak! I always do....

Anak kedua di mata kebanyakkan ibu adalah anak yang selalu lebih baik dari yang sulung. Lebih mendengar kata, lebih alert, lebih faham, lebih segala-galanya. Kalau disuruh anak yang sulung mandi, anak kedua akan buat dulu. Di suruh membuat kerja rumah...anak kedua akan berkata dia dah siap pun. Si sulung..tahan untuk dimarah bahkan tahan juga untuk dipukul. Itu bahasa biasa ibu kepada saya, yang sulung.

Anak kedua lebih memerhati lebih melihat penderitaan yang sulung apabila dimarah dan dipukul. Tentu pendekatannya adalah untuk menyelamatkan diri agar tidak kena seperti yang sulung. Si ibu pula, ibarat jika sukakan pasukan JDT, busuk macamana pun suka juga. Ibarat kata jika bencikan TRW, bagus macamana pun tidak bermakna. Itulah nasib si sulung dengan para pesaingnya, adik-adiknya.

Berikanlah harapan baru kepada si sulung. Fahamilah mereka. Ceriakanlah hidup mereka.

Kaulah cinta ibu dan ayah, yang sulung...

Have a strong-willed child?  You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults.  Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure.  As long as parents resist the impulse to "break their will," strong-willed kids often become leaders. 

(Iman's teacher once told us, he found a 6 yr old hiding behind the school's fridge, because iman told him so.He does'nt want to come out until Iman let's him to. He was twice Iman's size (--") )

What exactly is a strong-willed, or spirited, child?  Some parents call them "difficult" or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints.  Strong-willed kids want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others accept, so they test the limits over and over. They want desperately to be "in charge" of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to "be right" above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears.  Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.

More at Dr Laura Markham page.

Time out for a 3 year old preschooler

Sometimes it is really hard to control your temper to young children.For us, personally when things are uncontrollable it is better done with a 5mins time out.Better for mom and son of course. We started this once iman turned 3. I regretted for not starting earlier.I thing it is one of the best method available.But punishment had to be at par to what have been done. Here iman had hit his brother with a badminton racket.ouch! And doesnt want to say sorry.

Well, time-out isn't a punishment. It's an opportunity for your child to learn how to cope with frustration and modify his behavior. While your child is in a time-out, he's on his own, so try to let him sit in solitude for a few moments. Any attention from you – positive or negative – only reinforces unwanted behavior.(baby-center). And it is most recommended to be used once your baby hits 2. 


So we sent him to the stairs for 5 mins to stop crying and think about what he had done.
He stopped crying the first 2mins, and begged to climb down the next 2 minutes. We 'released' him after exactly 5mins which worked wonders.

By last he apologized to Amsyar and said this " kesian amsyar..Allah saaayang amsyar.Allah marah pukul adik"


Well at least he managed to thinked about it for 5mins ;)
Alhmdulillah.this worked wonders.well for now. :)

More on time outs..lets go to babycenter.

There are also some nice info on timeouts here and some techniques from dr sears here :)

Happy parenting mommies.

Love

:)

How can I keep my hyperactive preschooler from running wild?

Only mom's with hyperactive children understand each other :)
A little something from this babycenter link :)

link

Have realistic expectations

Recognize that your child will be happiest playing in a child-friendly environment where she can run around and touch things, not shopping in a hardware store or going to an art museum. Understand that she won't be able to sit or stand quietly for long periods, so that asking her to wait in line or sit in an office waiting room may be asking too much. Remember that she won't have much patience for sitting quietly during activities that don't interest her, so sitting at the dinner table or even in preschool circle time may be impossible for more than a few minutes. Finally, know that she may not be able to resist temptation, so keep markers and scissors in a drawer she can't open.

Make sure she gets enough sleep

Any child who is tired will be irritable and "wired" during the day and will be harder to deal with than a well-rested child. If your child is grouchy or sleepy in the morning, she needs more sleep at night.

Keep your rules simple and concrete

For example, tell your child, "When we're in the parking lot I want you to hold my hand" or "You can't throw balls in the house." Always, always, always be consistent about enforcing the rules. If you're not, your child won't be able to figure out how you expect her to behave.

Get some advice from an expert

If you're already doing these things and your child is still acting out a lot more than other children, you may need a fresh approach. Seek out a counselor who can spend time with you and your child and give you some advice on how to manage her behavior. Talk to your child's preschool teachers, your local childcare resource and referral agency, or your child's healthcare provider.

25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

Salam Jumaat peeps,
(ya now i now some of the daddies in my office (and in hubby's office too...ya ya..you la siapa lagi) reads this blog so greeting mommies are somehow not relevent anymore)

One of my best reads :)
Come let's read.

I was raised by a working mom, so i do not really see how working mom's cannot raise children well.
For me, some time off from the children, makes the heart grow fonder and we try to appreciate every single moment together. Weekends will be the utmost time.

It's really an individual decision.
To stay at home or to work.
Doesn't really make you a good or bad mother ;p
There is no such thing as a bad mom. A bad person doesn't deserves to be a mother :)

Go through the rules.
I foremost thank my MIL for bringing up a wonderful helpful and thoughtful person my husband is now :')

From here

25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment.  He’ll cry from fear and bite out of excitement.  Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference.  Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion.  Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.

2. Be a cheerleader for his life.
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games.  There is no doubt that he will tell you to “stop, mom” when you sing along to his garage band’s lyrics.  There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts.  There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you’ve been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade.  He will tell you to stop.  He will say he’s embarrassed.  But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.

3. Teach him how to do laundry.
..And load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt.  He may not always choose to do it.  He may not ever have to do it.  But someday his wife will thank you.

4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, “Children become readers on the laps of their parents.”  Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books.  Let him see you reading…reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles.  Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever.  Writers are the transcribers of history and memories.  They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important.  And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.

5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals.  No matter where you go, no matter who you meet – they have some form of the three.  It doesn’t have to be good.  Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it’s perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.

6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform like Batman will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen Mark Twain, and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity, and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).

7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphna Blake) will surround your son from birth.  But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Maria Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).

8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things.  If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this:  If you have done any of the following:  a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero.  do not doubt yourself for one second.  Seriously.

9. Teach him to have manners.
Because its nice.  and it will make the world a little better of a place.

10. Give him something to believe in.
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won’t be able to be there.  Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.

11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle.
Like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people’s feelings.

12. Let him ruin his clothes.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes.  You’ll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don’t waste your energy being angry about something inevitable.  Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes.  Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.

13. Learn how to throw a football.
Or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song.  Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.

14. Go outside with him.
Turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away.  Just go outside and follow him around.  Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions.  It’s like magic.

15. Let him lose.
Losing sucks.  Everybody isn’t always a winner.  Even if you want to say, “You’re a winner because you tried,” don’t.  He doesn’t feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed.  And that’s a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids.  This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again…..)  Instead make sure he understands that – sometimes you win – sometimes you lose.  But that doesn’t mean you ever give up.

16. Give him opportunities to help others.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help.  Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities.  Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together. 

17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn’t just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life.  You become a better writer by writing.  You become a better listener by listening.  You become better speaker by speaking.  Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks – they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing.  Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip.  Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier.  Practice, practice, practice.

18. Answer him when he asks, “Why?”
Answer him, or search for the answer together.  Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches).  Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself.  Someday, when he needs to ask questions he’s too embarrassed to ask you – he’ll know where to go to find the right answers.

19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.
Especially the wipes.

20. Let his dad teach him how to do things.
…Without interrupting about how to do it the ‘right way.’  If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything.  You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers.  And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom,  you will stay connected to what is happening in his life.  Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.

21. Give him something to release his energy.
Drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog.  Give him something to go crazy with – or he will use your stuff.  and then you’ll sorry.

22. Build him forts.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic.  Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders.  For the rest of his life, he’ll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

23. Take him to new places.
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

24. Kiss him.
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet.  They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day.  But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender.  So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, ‘what happens in between that made you lose that?’  Let’s try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they’re loving and kissing them even more when they’re wild.  Kissing them when they’re 2 months and kissing them when they’re 16 years old.  You’re the mom – you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets – and make sure he knows it.   p.s. (this one is just as important for dad’s too). 

25. Be home base.

You are home to him.  When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back.  When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile.  When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you’re the only one who will listen that many times.  When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands.  When he is sick, he will call you.  When he really messes up, he will call you.  When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious.  Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun.  Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.

Happy weekends guys!

Love,

Zahra

Mommy's Oath :: Islamic Parenting :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

1.I am raising my child to be a successful vicegerent (khalifah) of Allah, who will help create a truly Islamic World.

2.Today I will try my best to know and understand all the influences upon my child’s development.

3.Today I will try my best to help my child understand the power of negative influences to take him/her away from Allah, and the power of positive influences to take him/her to Allah.

4.Today I will try my best to shield my child from the power of the negative influences to take him/her away from Allah.

5.Today I will try my best to enhance (increase) the power of the positive influences upon my child to take him/her toward llah.

6.Today I will try my best to notice some positive things my child does or says, and tell him/her how much those things are appreciated by me and by Allah.

7.Today I will try my best to say nothing negative to my child. Even if I have to correct my child’s wrong behaviour I will try my best to find some positive way to do so.

8.Today I will love my child unconditionally, but I will try my best to express that love at times which are most beneficial to my child.

9.Today I will try my best to be an example of a good and right human being (Muslim) for my child.

10.Today I will pray for Allah’s help that I can be a good parent for my child

Ten ways to build your child's self-esteem :)

Nice article that might be useful for me and also for you :)

From babycenter.

Nurturing your child's self-esteem may seem like a hefty responsibility. After all, a feeling of self-worth lays the foundation for your child's future as he sets out to try new things on his own.

"Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we're capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile," says family therapist Jane Nelsen, coauthor of the Positive Discipline series.

"As any parent knows, self-esteem is a fleeting experience," says Nelsen. "Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don't. What we are really trying to teach our kids are life skills like resiliency."

Your goal as a parent is to ensure that your child develops pride and self-respect – in himself and in his cultural roots – as well as faith in his ability to handle life's challenges (for a school-age child that may mean giving a dance performance for you).

Here are ten simple strategies to help boost your child's self-esteem:

1. Give unconditional love (cinta tanpa syarat)

 A child's self-esteem flourishes with the kind of no-strings-attached devotion that says, "I love you, no matter who you are or what you do." Your child benefits the most when you accept her for who she is regardless of her strengths, difficulties, temperament, or abilities.So, lavish her with love. Give her plenty of cuddles, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. And don't forget to tell her how much you love her.

When you do have to correct your child, make it clear that it's her behavior – not her – that's unacceptable. For instance, instead of saying, "You're so naughty! Why can't you be good?" say, "Please don't throw the ball in the house. A ball is an outside toy."

2. Pay attention (beri perhatian). 

Carve out time to give your child your undivided attention. That does wonders for your child's feelings of self-worth because it sends the message that you think he's important and valuable.It doesn't have to take a lot of time. It just means taking a moment to stop flipping through the mail if he's trying to talk with you or putting aside your smartphone long enough to answer a question (daddy hope ur reading this and stop ur coco crush game ;p).

Make eye contact so it's clear that you're really listening to what he's saying. When you're strapped for time, let your child know it without ignoring his needs. Say, "Tell me all about what happened at soccer practice. When you're finished, I need to make our dinner."

3 Teach limits.

Establish a few reasonable, consistent rules for your child. For instance, if you tell her to wear her helmet when she rides her bike in the driveway, don't let her go without it at her friend's house. And if she breaks a rule, be sure she knows what the consequence is beforehand. ("If you don't wear your bike helmet, you don't get to ride your bike.") Knowing that certain family rules are set in stone helps her feel more secure. She'll start to live by your expectations soon enough. Just be clear and consistent and show her that you trust her and expect her to do the right thing.

4. Support healthy risks. 

Encourage your child to explore something new, such as trying a different food, making a new friend, or riding a skateboard. Activities that promote cooperation rather than competition, like mentoring programs or volunteering, are especially helpful in building self-esteem. Though there's always the possibility of failure, without risk there's little opportunity for success.

So let your child safely experiment, and resist the urge to intervene. For instance, try not to "rescue" him the minute he's showing mild frustration at figuring out how to read a tricky word. Jumping in to say, "I'll do it" can foster dependence and diminish your child's confidence. You'll build his self-esteem by balancing your need to protect him with his need to tackle new tasks.

5. Let mistakes happen. 

The flip side, of course, of having choices and taking risks is that sometimes your child is bound to make mistakes. These are valuable lessons for your child's confidence.

So if your child misses the school bus because she was dawdling in his bedroom, encourage her to think about what she might do differently next time. That way her self-esteem won't sag and she'll understand that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes.

When you goof up yourself, admit it, says Daniel Meier, assistant professor of elementary education at San Francisco State University. Acknowledging and recovering from your mistakes sends a powerful message to your child – it makes it easier for your child to accept his own difficulties.

Self reminder : Let it happen but don't nag!

6. Celebrate the positive.(I like this one!)

Everyone responds well to encouragement, so make an effort to acknowledge the good things your child does every day within his earshot. For instance, tell his dad, "Peter did all his chores today without prompting." He'll get to bask in the glow of your praise and his dad's heartening response.

And be specific. Instead of saying "Good job," say, "Thank you for setting the table for dinner." This will enhance his sense of accomplishment and self-worth and let him know exactly what he did right.

7. Listen well. 

If your child needs to talk, stop and listen to what she has to say. She needs to know that her thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions matter.

Help her get comfortable with her emotions by labeling them. Say, "I understand you're sad because you can't go to the sleepover." By accepting her emotions without judgment, you validate her feelings and show that you value what she has to say.

If you share your own feelings ("I'm worried about Grandma. She's very sick."), she'll gain confidence in expressing his own.

Mine would be - Iman sedih ye nak mkn aiskrim daddy tak bagi. Jangan sedih. Cuba tanya daddy kenapa tak boleh.

8. Resist comparisons.

 Comments such as "Why can't you be more like your brother?" or "Why can't you be nice like Evan?" just remind your child of where he struggles in a way that fosters shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as "You're the best player," are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image.

If you let your child know that you appreciate him for the unique individual he is, he'll be more likely to value himself too.

9. Offer empathy and redirect inaccurate beliefs. 

If your child compares himself unfavorably to his siblings or peers ("Why can't I throw a football like Nicholas?"), show him empathy and then emphasize one of his strengths. For instance, say, "You're right. Nicholas is good at throwing a football. And you're a fast runner."

And if he goes into a tailspin of negativity and self-doubt ("I can't do math. I'm a bad student."), help him see things in a more realistic light. Say something like, "You are a good student, you just have trouble with math. Let's work on it together and see if we can figure it out."

This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that he doesn't have to be perfect to feel good about himself. But if you're concerned that something deeper may be at play, ask your child more detailed questions about school, friends, and how he views himself. You might decide it's best to talk to a counselor or mental health specialist.

10. Provide encouragement. 

Every child needs the kind of support from loved ones that signals, "I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!" Encouragement means acknowledging progress – not just rewarding achievement. So if your child is struggling with a math problem, say: "You're trying very hard and you almost have it!" instead of "Not like that. Let me do it."

There's a difference between praise and encouragement. One rewards the task while the other rewards the person ("You did it!" rather than "I'm proud of you!").

Praise can make a child feel that she's only "good" if she does something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. "Tell me about the game. I saw you really hustling out there" is more helpful than saying, "You're the best player on the team."

Too much praise can sap self-esteem because it can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. Give your child the message that the effort – and seeing something through to the end – is what's important.

So dole out the praise judiciously and offer encouragement liberally. That will help your child grow up to feel good about herself.

Xoxo

Zahra

How to raise an articulated child?

First and foremost,

Ariticulate : expressing yourself easily or characterized by clear expressive language

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Just in case your vocab is as bad as mine.hehehe. I googled it up as well you know.  ;p

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Last saturday i overheard Iman talking to his lil brother,
" Amsyar ni, jgn sepah sepah. Abg baru je kemas 5 min ni. Ni dah sepah sepah"

I was really amazed by his array of sentence and how he could copy exactly the sentence i said to him earlier!Oh my!Then i stumbled upon this article.I think this article from babycenter is quite useful, me and also you could use a tip or two :)

How to raise an articulated child? 

Children who speak well feel confident both in the classroom and on the playground. You can encourage your child to feel comfortable speaking in many different situations and with different types of people by focusing on speaking skills at home.

Here are eight ways to raise an articulate child:

Be an avid listener

When your child tells you about his day, put down your newspaper, stop making dinner, and give him your undivided attention. If he feels as if he has center-stage when he talks to you, it will be easier for him to open up.

Use good grammar and appropriate language

Don't dumb down your speech when you talk to your child. Children are copycats and will imitate whatever you say — so instill good speech habits early. (And if you don't want your child to learn to curse, watch your own language!)

Correct mispronunciations and grammatical errors consistently but discreetly

If your child mispronounces a word or makes some other speech mistake, simply repeat the phrase back to him correctly and move on. For example, if he says, "I had pasghetti for lunch today," just say, "Did you like the spaghetti?" If you dwell on his mistake, you'll only make him more self-conscious about speaking.

Build his vocabulary

The most natural way to do this is to use different words to describe the same object whenever possible. For example, a dog can be a shepherd, a terrier, a collie, and so on. English is a very rich language; use synonyms as much as you can.

Ask open-ended questions

If you ask your child, "Did you have a good day at school today?" you're asking for a one-word answer. But if you ask, "What did you do after recess today?" you'll inspire him to describe what happened.

Encourage him to read aloud

By now your child can probably read a simple chapter book to you, so spend time each day reading together. 

Give your child many chances to talk to adults and older children

To help your child gain confidence talking to grown-ups, let him order food at a fast-food drive-thru or place his own order with the waitress at a restaurant. And refrain from answering for him when other adults ask him questions.

Play games that encourage speaking

List of games that are recommended could be seen here.

Hope this could be useful for you as well :)

Love,

Mommy Z

Discipline for 2years old Tods : Time Out

I think it's time...


Iman is hitting 31months this coming 21st.
So we think it's already time to infuse nurturing with some discipline as well. Yes just to teach not punish. Some behaviors are still tolerable, but some are really uncontrollable. Deep inside, sometime outspurted, Iman is still my sweet lil boy :)

Just I want to share some tips from the baby center that i find quite interesting where you can get directly here.

What to expect at this age

It's a 2-year-old's job to explore the world around him — and part of that exploration involves testing the boundaries of his world. That means your 2-year-old will gleefully push the limits you impose in an effort to find out what's okay and what's not okay. He's also a creature ruled by emotion, and can turn on a dime from a happy-go-lucky child to a flailing, wailing wild thing.

When your child gets too worked up for his own good, sometimes the best way to help him get a handle on himself is to remove him from whatever sparked the meltdown (or the limits-pushing) in favor of a little quiet time, better known as a time-out. Though many experts, including Penelope Leach, are skeptical about using traditional time-outs with children so young, it's fine to introduce the concept of a cooling-off period now. Six strategies for making the most of time-outs with your child:

What to do

Understand what a time-out is — and isn't.

If you don't think of a time-out as punishment, neither will your child, and that's as it should be. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to teach your child how to cope with common frustrations and modify his behavior. Although at times it may require superhuman effort, try not to scold, yell, or speak angrily when you call "time-out" — the point isn't to chastise your child, it's simply to help him switch gears. The goal of a time-out is to defuse and redirect an escalating situation in an unemotional way, and to help your child behave without setting a negative example, the way yelling does.

Don't give formal time-outs before your child is ready for them.

Two-year-olds find it hard to sit still, so trying to make your little one stay in one place for a prescribed length of time may well disintegrate into a chase scene: Your child runs away from his time-out spot, delighted with this new game. You catch him, then struggle to make him stay. You threaten, he laughs. You grab, he bolts. Meanwhile, because 2-year-olds have short attention spans, your child forgets why you wanted him to sit still in the first place. Instead of helping him regain his self-control, you find yourself in an escalating power struggle.

That's why traditional time-outs won't work until your child begins to appreciate the need to follow rules (usually around his third birthday). Watch for signs that he understands what's allowed and what's not — if he reminds you of the rules when you break them, chances are he's absorbed that lesson. If, for instance, he catches you doing something you normally wouldn't allow him to — munching potato chips on the sofa, say — he may scold, "You're not supposed to do that, Mommy." Until that point, though, hold off on time-outs or your child will feel he's being punished but won't understand why.

Meanwhile, try to distinguish between your child's natural inquisitiveness and willful disobedience. Instead of constantly correcting his behavior, childproof your home to reduce the opportunities for mischief, and distract your child to redirect his attention to more suitable activities. Save time-outs for when your child is doing something he knows is wrong and distraction and redirection just aren't working, or when he needs to get a grip on his emotions.

Take time-outs together.

 Most 2-year-olds just aren't ready for solitary time-outs, so introduce the idea of time-out by taking a "positive" one together. When your 2-year-old gets revved up and borders on losing control, try saying, "Let's take a time-out to read a book until we feel better." Any quiet activity, such as listening to music, lying down, or putting together a simple puzzle will work.

Taking a time-out with you gets your child used to the idea of a cooling-off period. It disrupts the downward spiral of negative behavior while avoiding the battle of wills that a more formal time-out can incite.

Plan ahead. 

Don't spring time-outs on your child in a burst of frustration — this discipline method works best if it's explained ahead of time. Use simple terms: "When you get too wild or act in a way that Mommy and Daddy don't think is a good idea, I'll call, 'Time-out.' That means you'll sit in this chair for a little while until you can calm yourself down." You may find it helpful to act this out or to use a doll or teddy bear to demonstrate.

Be flexible. 

With a 2-year-old, your goal is simply to introduce the idea of an enforced break in the action. Such an interruption can be upsetting enough to your hard-charging, egocentric 2-year-old; insisting that he sit in a certain place, in a certain way, for a certain length of time may be too much for him. Instead of marching him to a special "time-out" chair, for instance, consider just having him sit still right where he is — and stay with him if need be. Go easy, too, in determining how long he needs to stay there. (Don't start following the common one-minute-per-year rule until your child is at least 3.) Thirty seconds to a minute is generally enough for a 2-year-old. The period should be long enough to refocus his attention but not so long that he gets frustrated. One idea: Have him sit and recite his ABCs, then redirect him to a different activity.

Don't expect miracles. 

As you've no doubt discovered, 2-year-olds are notoriously active, willful, and unpredictable. This is normal (though admittedly tough on you), and the only solution is plenty of patience. Testing limits and gauging your reactions — over and over again — is your child's way of establishing a secure understanding of his world. He may repeatedly toss food off the table to establish that gravity continues to exist. He may repeat an action just to make sure it's still "not okay," so consistency is vital.

No single disciplinary approach — including time-outs — will transform your child into an obedient angel. But learning what behaviors are normal (or at least unavoidable!) at this age will help keep your expectations realistic. If, on the other hand, your child is usually pretty compliant and easily redirected, you may be lucky enough never to need time-out. You may also find that using the positive time-out technique — changing the pace to a quieter activity — works well throughout your youngster's childhood.

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Good luck mommies!!

And have a lovely week ahead!

Happy Malaysia Day!

Love,

Zahra