Showing posts with label birth story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth story. Show all posts

Friday, May 27, 2016

May Happy-nings - Birth of Kawsar binti Hani


22nd May 2016
Birth of my beautiful niece

Kawsar binti Hani

Congratulations dear sister Zainab :)
Another reason to celebrate and rejoice in May!











Kawsar with her brother, Hamza



May you become as beautiful as your name, as intelligent as you mother and as solehah as Sayyidatina Fatimah Azzahra.

Amin!




Love ,

Mommylong




This year indeed is a year for my mom to 'kumpul' cucus.


Cousins look alike, newborn Amsyar (2012) vs Kawsar (2016) :)

Friday, April 11, 2014

VBA2C - The inspiring thoughts for me


" Stop worrying of what will go wrong and start being positive of what might go right"

Collected by a dear sister in vbac/ICAN Malaysia community.
A topic in ICAN group Malaysia about "How will you remember your csections this April" in the conjuction of Cesarean Awareness Month. Support for whoever you are who plan for VBAC/VBAMC.

Well a doctor may have all the words she/he wants to say to make you agree to go under the knife. Wait until she had to go under too and let her colleague cut her tummy up.


Thank you sis!
============================


KH (VBAC)
My 1st scar turn 3 this 6th June.. Since I start preggy my no.2, I start gain knowlegde more & more about birth, more than during my pharmacy student life  thanks to Maria Zain (VBA2C) & Sofia Azyze (VBA4C) for gave me such inspiration to achieve my dream birth.. Alhamdulillah, I had a wonderful homebirth exactly 25 months after my 1st scar.


LA (VBA2C)
Allah is the best planner. Now I can smile seeing my scars (2 csects 2007, 2009). My first scar was so ugly. So thick with keloid. (Itchy summore). My second csect the doctors did an excellent job scrubbing off the keloid and left only a very thin line. I would like to remember the 2nd csect as my beauty makeover. And to have a very beautiful natural birth after 4.5 years after that, is priceless. I have prepared myself for the long hours of contraction journeyed by vbamc moms. Alhamdulillah it was just a "short" 6 hours labour.



SK (VBA2C)
My scar will turn 8 October this year. I recovered from the physical cut without issues but I'm still recovering from the emotional scar it left me. Most mums were conscious when they had to go through their csect, I wasn't. I had a bad reaction to the anaesthesia and was not there when my daughter came to this world. I regained consciousness 2 days after the surgery and no feelngs registered. That emotional scar still lingers until today. About 5 years after the cut, I had a drug free hospy VBAC in 2010, and a homebirth in 2011. My scarred womb went through a total of 77 hours of labor. InsyaAllah sisters, with the right knowledge and placing your faith at the right place, you can birth the way we're intended to birth.



AA (VBA2C)
My first scar turned 4yr just a week ago. The second scar is almost 3 yr. I do not have fond memories of those scars as they were healing postpartum. But i do not regret them either. Because through those scars, i had my baby boys. Looking at it reminds me of both times when i was in OT, their first cries, the pink mush on their faces, how excited i was to see their faces when a nurse finally brought them to me etc etc. Don't deny the scars. Don't hold on to the pain, but remember the baby that came from it. Looking back, i believe my csects were totally avoidable. Had i educated myself better, i should've just stayed at home and not cave in to an induction. The medical team wheeled me in for csection because of failure to progress at 8cm. I learn now, that it was simply failure to stay upright and labour actively 




MW (VBA2C)
It was almost 7 years ago when I had my first, and 4 years ago for the last one. I hope it will really be the last last time. Aamiin... Masya allah. I keep remembering the day that i did my VBA2C everytime I smell the parfume I sprayed in my labor room... To tell you how long my labor was I'm not sure when my labor start, because I had 2 days of "labor trial" if I may call that instead of "false labor", first contractions was like every 10 minutes for the whole night, and second was 3 days later every 4 minutes for the whole night as well. I was almost desperate the next day, I thought doctor must had cut my "birth muscle". And when I was in doubt I pray "Ya allah, please give me your decision". Alhamdulillah I finally gave birth the next day, on 41w + 5d.



MZ (VBA3C)
My third scar aged 6 years. And it had endured a 14 hours labor (and 8 hours of it consisted of contractions of 1 minutes gap!) My labor pattern was quite "rough" but my scarred womb is still strong to withstand the contractions! Subhanallah... Now that I have a 9 month old baby, it feels unbelievable, indescribable that whenever I touch my csect scar, it is not a new one - no numbness, no soreness, no sadness - but a feeling of satisfaction and empowerement instead due to the fact that I finally had my vaginal birth, against all odds! Alhamdulillah........



NI (VBA3C)
Masyaallah amazing strength the scars reminded us. I have accepted every single scar that I had 2007, 2009 and 2011. I have made peace with them. I acknowledged my part of the mistake. Being uninformed and naive. I no longer cry nor feel any anger since I got pregnant with my 4th and now my growing 1 month boy. It was a life transformation and a beginning. Reborn. I wish you all mummies strength and love.



HS (VBA3C)
"If you can go normal (varginal delivery) for your baby after 3-section, that is miracle" A comment I get from PUSRAWI gynae when I talked about possiblity to have VBA3C. "Whatever you read from internet is other school of thought, here in Malaysia we have our own rules & regulation. If you wanna VBA3C you can go elsewhere!!" An arrogant remark from gynea at PRINCE COURT hospital. Llittle Courage... Hopeless.. Bring me to Wai Han's blog.. Inspiration even bigger when I get to know Sofia Azyze (VBA4C) via FB... And finally my vision more clearer after attended Maria Zain's class. Inspiration, courage, knowledge that been shared with the people in same boat is sooooo meaningful and left you are not alone. MasyaAllah. VBA3C...I did it!! And you will, too. Insha Allah.



SA (VBA4C)
I have 4 scars (2003, 2005, 2007, 2010). My scars had endured 30 hours of active labor and I had successfully gentle birth a 4.2 kg baby in 2012, all natural without any medication. Only we know how strong our womb is. Now when I look at my scars, it smiles back to me.




MZ (VBA3C):
Past is past, let bygone be bygone, if the scars were due to our own ignorance last time, then this is the time to do it right - learn, learn and learn! Dig as much as possible about natural physiological birth. The more u learn, the less u fear. Now u know that regardless the number of previous scars that u have, you still got THE CHANCE TO VBAC! The term - "say good bye to vaginal birth after 2nd csection" is NO LONGER VALID! We have more and more local living proofs around! LEARN & HAVE FAITH!



SK (VBA2C)
Dear sisters who tried to VBAC but ended up with another cut, don't let that bring you down. Have faith that it will make you more stronger. Csect is not a minor thing and you survived it.. That shows how strong you are! InsyaAllah now that you're stronger you can conquer VBAMC in the future!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Iman is 2!! Today!

21st February is always so special.
Since 2011 :)

I'm sooooooooo excited it gives me shivers to the spine :)
It is just too emotionally oriented, when it involves first borns.
Maybe every mother feels this way.
Perhaps my mom does, with me.

It's always special to be the first.
Being not the first is also special,mind you Zulhafidzey Amsyar if you happen to read this 10-15 yrs from now.Special in your every tiny lil way :)

I'll do a special entry for Iman for this.Inshallah.
Just too excited to do it now ;p



Happy Birthday dear Iman.
All i can say now is mommy always love you.
Every lil bit of you.
Forever.













XoXo

Mommy

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Post-natal Experiences - the 20th day

Salam ladies and mommies out there! :)

Lamanya rs xmenulis apa2 in this blog.Rindu rsnya..tho i presume nobody reads this.
And the main reason I'm writing pun is for my own reference.
beruntunglah if i have followers pun..i really thank you for reading :)

Today marks my 20th day being a mother of 2!Dh hampir 3weeks.Both my babies are now sound asleep.alhamdulillah.ada chance la mommy update apa yg patut..To summarize..mmg havoc and hectic. Everyday is a different day..esp with abgIman. ada je akalnya budak kenit ni..and I always see him as already the big brother, the older son..which sometimes i need to remind my self that Iman is only 15mths old. still very very young!

His reaction to baby amsyar..biasalah.nak kiss syg adek, then cungkil telinga, try cungkil mata..even in one attempt iman tried to bang lil bro's body dgn his motorcycle!..OMG! mmg kena perhati selalu..Sometimes I feel like he's just trying to get my attention. But I understand that my lil Iman is under stress..yelah.out of nowhere,ttb tengok dh muncul budak kenit yang 24-7 dok berdamping dgn mommy, need to stay at grandma's house where daddy tak ada pula..and not having to go to his babysitter's house where he could play ball and go to the playground everyday.His routine now totally changes. And i could see he misses daddy on weekdays.He tries to adapt tp everything is not the same. Mm..xpelah Iman..try to hold on,k syg? 
Only for these 40days.mommy promise!

It's quite a bliss that Zakiyya is already here for her summer holidays and Zaynab is in the house.Where Ali is always here to help with Iman and Aliyya is in holiday mood to help here and there. Alhamdulillah.Your own sisters and brothers are always your best helpers when it comes to worst times :)

I tried to spend each and every single spare minute i have when amsyar is asleep with Iman. And fortunately Amsyar is a night owl and sleeps most of the daytime.So, banyakla juga time i have for Iman, tho my mom says that those time should be used for sleeping as the mom should sleep when the baby sleeps. Nak buat camane..i have two babies.. (okayla three when daddy comes home! ;) ). I tried to do all the routines we usually do together.  i read to him, sing to him, feed him his pasta, and cuddle together for a nap in the afteranrroon. Sometimes i even bathe him when the wound doesn't hurt much. Just to make him feel that I'm still here for him. But some things are still not do-able. Not until this wound heals properly. I'm still with limited ability especialy in lifting things. The heaviest thing I've ever carried since the surgery is Amsyar.Iman at 12kgs is a big no-no la~


my love : iman at 15mths :)


As for me and Amsyar, i really thank Allah for the blessings this time for being able to breastfeed amsyar these 20days. I remember myself in misery pumping and sterilizing everything for Iman last time as he refused  direct feeding.So now if amsyar wants to be suckling all night long, i tried hard not to complaint as this is much much easier for me than last time. I thank you Allah that you granted my wish for this tho not for the VbaC wishes..but I know you have better plans for me ;)

Watching amsyar asleep, comparing to active Iman right now reminds me how Iman used to be before. So helpleass..so sweet..and yet in a blink of my eye..dah besar panjang. Dah bijak melompat lompat menonton boboiboy and upin ipin...dh bijak berguling2 in the playground in protes takmau balik..O..how  fast a human brain and physical develops..just imagine in 20yrs how they will grow.. and yet to me, these boys are still my babies..my sweet little babies. Betul la kata my mom dedulu..to her, I'm always her small 1st born baby. And i'll only understand that statement when i become myself a mother.



My sweetheart : Amsyar at 19days :)


Talking about vbac..I really wished for a vbac for this time but i never regret for this c-sect. Tak apalah..i redha..I want many children tapi tak adalah sampai 7-8org. Ideally for me is 4.Insyallah. Kita hnya meramcang-kan? Maybe I mati next year ke..so only these two boys ajelah penyambung zuriat keturunan saya.

The operation was smooth and baby amsyar was born in ease without complications. I was crying all the way through the operation, praying that everything would be ok. I don't know..i was just tremendously nervous by that time. Alhamdulillah in 30minutes they successfully brought out the baby, and amsyar's 1st cry made me cry even louder. 
Even the anaes doc tried to comfort me. 
She was sweet petite lady doctor who i remembered saying.. " dont cry pn zahra.everything is ok.see-your baby have a dimple!". I lose 450mL of blood during the surgery.
Thank you Allah, for still letting me breath for another 20days until this day.. :)

The recovery was quite a pain tho. The wound is now 5mm longer on each end than the previous one..and I was on epidural pethidine for the subsequent 2 and a half days. Bila pethidine habis je..Allah shj yang tahu betapa sakitnya.They stopped the drug on the 3rd day, and took off the urine bag. So i was forced to walk up myself to the toilet which was a great deal for me. On the first attempt i felt like my stomach was falling off..so i need to hold up my whole post pregnancy stomach which was like a flabby piece of meat to and fro. The deal in the toilet was really something else..i could'nt even bend down to change my own pad :'( 
Sakit nyerr! Thanks to my mom who was waiting on me and my husband who was always there to help. I was living on pain killers for the first 6days!!

Today, the wound is still healing. And the pain is really unnoticed except when it rains where you could sometimes feel like there is a knife slipping through. Sometimes laa..ngilu camtu..huhu~





I think maybe that is all for today.
I'll try to write an special entry on the birth story of Amsyar-full version and perhaps on confinement :)
I think the epidurals still have effects on my back which sometime aches so hard, i can hardly sleep.


Take care all of you . . .






Love, 

Zahra 


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jom terjah :)
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