Time is running out..

Need to decide soon!!
Best option when natural contraception doesn't work for us?

Pills? Hmm..what if i forget?
If there's another baby on the way..then there's no turning back.

Best ideas for now? IUD or Implanon.
Yeah.those.maybe.
This is hard.Stressed.



Waiting for consultation during Amsyar's 1st injection date.







Keeping my fingers crossed.

Bila bosan kat rumah

Ok please stop and repent.now.

Quick Sunday updates - on confinement :)

Salam ladies :)

Guess what?I'm home alone today :) oklah..with amsyar only.
The whole household is out.
Including Iman who went with his uncle and mak uteh to mrsm TGB to visit maksu!
So i'm having this whole house on my own! Yeah!!
Crazy.Dok sengsorang pun nk suka.

So how's things going on? Me, I finally could cough comfortably now..and also i could blow nose whenever i want, alhamdulillah. I hope my tummy heals well though. I don't know what's happening inside tho.Just on the surface, it looks clean :)

Amsyar.

Amsyar day 25 :)

As for amsyar, he's grow stronger, and chubbier by day alhamdulillah. Just mom still says 'amsyar' is a weird name. yeke? maybe nama moden.haha..nama baby skrg.i think many other names appear much peculiar to me.apa2 lah mak.asalkan mak jgn silap sebut sudah. On the first few days she was constantly calling my baby 'amsaar' instead of amsyar..hehehe..sounds funny tau mak.sian baby amsyar..

..


I just can't wait for his 1st month check-up next week to find out how's the progress :) Amsyar is such a cool baby so far with not so much trouble for mommy. Cool je even kena cakar dgn abg Iman and lepuk kepala beberapa kali..well baby, life's hard. AbgIman is trying to teach you from early age that.
ayoo..Iman.jgn nakal sgt.pening mommy tau.



Pantang

So far berpantang, i tend to be more moderate and took confinement in a more modern point of view.
For food - I ate healthy food.And fruits and veges which in my view are ok mcm - sawi, bayam, carrots, apples, oranges, pears, grapes way from day 1. Several fruits and veges mmg i drop out of diet like bananas, papayas, cabbage and durian.

I drank 3L of plain water daily, took a fair amount of milk & milo..and also some coffee once in a while. Favorite snacks - almonds, kurma or raisins or just bread. i took also some chillies once in a while (sambal ke..masak asam sket ke) which really makes my rice taste better.hehe.

Favorites : nasi panas, cencaru bakar and some sawi&carrots

Meals include chicken, meat and fish of most kinds (except some -eg keli) either fried, grilled, baked or steamed while keeping the oil to the minimum. Most of the times, keeping up to the simplest is best.As mom is working and MIL is not well, i cook for myself from day 4 and once in a while when my sisters were around, they cook and grill for me. Breastfeeding really puts a challenge on me for food. Asyik lah lapar memanjang.

Despite all of that the big no-no rule still applies to eggs, makanan bercuka, pineapples, air kelapa muda and ice. Owh how i crave for magnum..sedapnya :'(

As for postnatal care- belum buat apa2 lagi treatment or take any jamu yet. Waiting at least until 30days to start any urut, bengkung or tungku except for gamat pills, vits & iron pills and mustajab halia cream for back, forehead and feets :). I bet most post-ceaser moms are having this terms as well. Just taking care of the wound, having hot baths and wearing socks when mom's around. So far I'm ok and having plans to go with NR Phytonatal pills as per after Iman before :)

Just to conclude- I think, best for a mom to recover after giving birth is to be happy and comfortable all along the confinement period. Happy-ness is essential for plentiful of milk supply and the best milk booster ever :) Klu terhalang atau terpantang sgt what to eat, how much to eat, 2glass of water only per day, mmg depress..wound lambat heal, and worse susu tarak. Bila susu takmau keluar, baby pun xhappy. Mommy mana yg happy with a all-time crying baby.

So speaking from previous experience, I really tried my best to be better this time..try to avoid stress and voila, everything is much better :) I could even walk at normal pace on my 14th day, remembering last time, i was even really slow motioned boarding the plane on my 30th day. Alhamdulillah. Frankly, It was quite depressing last time when i was only allowed to eat rice with black pepper and grilled meat/fish. No veggies as it will cause the baby angin. And not too much water as it will make my wound wet and not heal (what?). And no to most of things, even bread and crackers :'(.

When Iman was refusing direct feeding, my poor baby was even said to be possessed. Terkena something which needs kena siup (i don't know the proper word) dgn bidan/bomoh kampung. Hmm.. I was literally suffering..well as a new mom- who isn't. But i need to obey as to respect my in-law family. The beliefs they were brought up in. The beliefs they brought up my husband. This is how they live on. My husband, of course was on their side. 

My mom, tho also a kelantanese was an absolutely the opposite way around. No- I'm not rebelling or complaining, but i at least it was a lesson learn from the experience. I really appreciate their efforts to take care of me and Iman before..and even i learnt so much in terms of baby care and also post natal recipes. Thank you mama and mek.

Now, at least i know. i know better :)



Ok la..tajuk quick update.but dah jadi berjela jadinya..
Take care all of you.



Love,

Zahra

*I miss work. I think I don't really miss doing the work..i just miss the ritual of everyday walking side by side my husband to and fro from parking to R&D office. O what to do.I'm just hopelessly romantic (^_^)V

Finding Me-self.Again.

Salam ladies,

How are you today?

Hehehe....kerja seperti biasa? Me? Still in confinement, tapi skrg azam baru

.Each time both heroes are asleep kita buka blog, either menulis or blog hop or blog shop, tak kira la.

Sometimes writing for me, is a stress reliever. Sendiri tulis, sendiri baca.

Duduk2 saje kat umah layan anak2 ni kadang2 buat kan i think a lot about my self, my growing family. What i have done..what i have achieved..what should i do next. Bila kelapangan tak payah fikir pasal design mendesign tapi gaji buta still masuk baru la ada masa nak fikir pasal diri sendiri. 

Dulu masa still belajar, each semester I'll start with a target for that semester.Kadang2 tercapai..kadang2 tidak..but at least my aim to be my course best student for my convo tercapai. Alhamdulillah. Merasa mak and bapak duduk barisan depan dlm dewan convo. merasa juga diorg makan hi-tea dok semeja dgn lecturers and VVIPs. Alhamdulillah. Bila mak seronok..automatic i feel blessed :)

Tu cerita zaman dulu. Skrg?

Bila dh tamat belajar. Bila dh masuk industry. Kerja mcm kuli kat negara sendiri. Seriously, designers in P1 are really underpaid. We are not industrial designers yg pilih kaler apa cantik, design bontot nk tajam ke bulat..mana yg cantik yerr? Oh no-no.Tu bab estetika is under styling design. Our task is basically engineering designing. To put parts in a puzzle way so that car performs as it should. My task? Thermo related. Siapa yg masa study dulu kena repeat or nearly fail subject thermodynamics/thermokinetics? susah kan? itu lah yg kitorg buat hari2. Bila dibanding dgn ideas and tenaga yg dikerah..mmg xsetimpal dgn byran. Pregnant 9mths pun still attend meetings, attend trials. Masuk bawah kereta. Sampai kdg2 check parts dlm kereta prototype, perut sangkut2 kat tepi kereta. Almaklumlah dh memboyot.

Bila keluar je kereta, org malaysia pakat kutuk2.Sedih. Padahal yg mengutuk tu, dok buat apa for a living? malas nak ckp lah..nti kna banned plak kan?Diorg ingat kitorg ni dibayar mahal ke?Yet we still wake up each morning to come early at work.

Alhamdulillah.I have a career. But how about advancements in career? Should I be jumping around within the industry.Maybe? Or maybe not. P1 is quite convenient for me. Solat bleh bila2 masa2. Benefits byk.  Beli rumah dpt subsidi. Bersalin, hospitalization and outpatient clinic free.

Tapi sampai bila nk duduk tertindas?Aha..mm..

Asyik terfikir..sampai bila bleh survive dlm environment begini?

Bestnya..kalau dapat jd fulltime housewife.

hari2 dok dgn anak2 saja..kemas2 rumah.homeschooling my boys. 

Cooking their favorite meal.baking.sewing perhaps? But need to be housewife with a target to achieve la.

A KPI. Kena jadi housewife yg organized. Yang ada jadual harian. Yang ada weekly targets. kalau dpt generate income dr rumah lagi bagus :)

Else..jadilah depserate housewife..bila dh hilang arah atau takde target..bosan la jadinya~

Mmm..

So azam baru - to work harder and more systematic than before. be like i used to be :)

To work hard on what we already have..hehe.semangat!

I need to admit that being pregnant, then pregnant again really did put off some fire inside me in terms of work. Malas nak kejar deadlines.And work just to pace.Do things for the sake of just doing.Bukan malas, tapi i was focusing on other things.More important things in life.

Ponding over things I have..to really be a subject matter expert.Before moving on.

Yes, I will be moving on..cuma belum plan betul2 bila.

Just need to stop asking a lot of why's.

And start saying...why not.

Celebrating my all-time fav leader DSZ.

Change starts with me.

May my good wishes all come true.

Love,

Zahra

Post-natal Experiences - the 20th day

Salam ladies and mommies out there! :)

Lamanya rs xmenulis apa2 in this blog.Rindu rsnya..tho i presume nobody reads this.

And the main reason I'm writing pun is for my own reference.

beruntunglah if i have followers pun..i really thank you for reading :)

Today marks my 20th day being a mother of 2!Dh hampir 3weeks.Both my babies are now sound asleep.alhamdulillah.ada chance la mommy update apa yg patut..To summarize..mmg havoc and hectic. Everyday is a different day..esp with abgIman. ada je akalnya budak kenit ni..and I always see him as already the big brother, the older son..which sometimes i need to remind my self that Iman is only 15mths old. still very very young!

His reaction to baby amsyar..biasalah.nak kiss syg adek, then cungkil telinga, try cungkil mata..even in one attempt iman tried to bang lil bro's body dgn his motorcycle!..OMG! mmg kena perhati selalu..Sometimes I feel like he's just trying to get my attention. But I understand that my lil Iman is under stress..yelah.out of nowhere,ttb tengok dh muncul budak kenit yang 24-7 dok berdamping dgn mommy, need to stay at grandma's house where daddy tak ada pula..and not having to go to his babysitter's house where he could play ball and go to the playground everyday.His routine now totally changes. And i could see he misses daddy on weekdays.He tries to adapt tp everything is not the same. Mm..xpelah Iman..try to hold on,k syg? 

Only for these 40days.mommy promise!

It's quite a bliss that Zakiyya is already here for her summer holidays and Zaynab is in the house.Where Ali is always here to help with Iman and Aliyya is in holiday mood to help here and there. Alhamdulillah.Your own sisters and brothers are always your best helpers when it comes to worst times :)

I tried to spend each and every single spare minute i have when amsyar is asleep with Iman. And fortunately Amsyar is a night owl and sleeps most of the daytime.So, banyakla juga time i have for Iman, tho my mom says that those time should be used for sleeping as the mom should sleep when the baby sleeps. Nak buat camane..i have two babies.. (okayla three when daddy comes home! ;) ). I tried to do all the routines we usually do together.  i read to him, sing to him, feed him his pasta, and cuddle together for a nap in the afteranrroon. Sometimes i even bathe him when the wound doesn't hurt much. Just to make him feel that I'm still here for him. But some things are still not do-able. Not until this wound heals properly. I'm still with limited ability especialy in lifting things. The heaviest thing I've ever carried since the surgery is Amsyar.Iman at 12kgs is a big no-no la~

my love : iman at 15mths :)

As for me and Amsyar, i really thank Allah for the blessings this time for being able to breastfeed amsyar these 20days. I remember myself in misery pumping and sterilizing everything for Iman last time as he refused  direct feeding.So now if amsyar wants to be suckling all night long, i tried hard not to complaint as this is much much easier for me than last time. I thank you Allah that you granted my wish for this tho not for the VbaC wishes..but I know you have better plans for me ;)

Watching amsyar asleep, comparing to active Iman right now reminds me how Iman used to be before. So helpleass..so sweet..and yet in a blink of my eye..dah besar panjang. Dah bijak melompat lompat menonton boboiboy and upin ipin...dh bijak berguling2 in the playground in protes takmau balik..O..how  fast a human brain and physical develops..just imagine in 20yrs how they will grow.. and yet to me, these boys are still my babies..my sweet little babies. Betul la kata my mom dedulu..to her, I'm always her small 1st born baby. And i'll only understand that statement when i become myself a mother.

My sweetheart : Amsyar at 19days :)

Talking about vbac..I really wished for a vbac for this time but i never regret for this c-sect. Tak apalah..i redha..I want many children tapi tak adalah sampai 7-8org. Ideally for me is 4.Insyallah. Kita hnya meramcang-kan? Maybe I mati next year ke..so only these two boys ajelah penyambung zuriat keturunan saya.

The operation was smooth and baby amsyar was born in ease without complications. I was crying all the way through the operation, praying that everything would be ok. I don't know..i was just tremendously nervous by that time. Alhamdulillah in 30minutes they successfully brought out the baby, and amsyar's 1st cry made me cry even louder. 

Even the anaes doc tried to comfort me. 

She was sweet petite lady doctor who i remembered saying.. " dont cry pn zahra.everything is ok.see-your baby have a dimple!". I lose 450mL of blood during the surgery.

Thank you Allah, for still letting me breath for another 20days until this day.. :)

The recovery was quite a pain tho. The wound is now 5mm longer on each end than the previous one..and I was on epidural pethidine for the subsequent 2 and a half days. Bila pethidine habis je..Allah shj yang tahu betapa sakitnya.They stopped the drug on the 3rd day, and took off the urine bag. So i was forced to walk up myself to the toilet which was a great deal for me. On the first attempt i felt like my stomach was falling off..so i need to hold up my whole post pregnancy stomach which was like a flabby piece of meat to and fro. The deal in the toilet was really something else..i could'nt even bend down to change my own pad :'( 

Sakit nyerr! Thanks to my mom who was waiting on me and my husband who was always there to help. I was living on pain killers for the first 6days!!

Today, the wound is still healing. And the pain is really unnoticed except when it rains where you could sometimes feel like there is a knife slipping through. Sometimes laa..ngilu camtu..huhu~

I think maybe that is all for today.

I'll try to write an special entry on the birth story of Amsyar-full version and perhaps on confinement :)

I think the epidurals still have effects on my back which sometime aches so hard, i can hardly sleep.

Take care all of you . . .

Love, 

Zahra