Post-natal Experiences - the 20th day

Salam ladies and mommies out there! :)

Lamanya rs xmenulis apa2 in this blog.Rindu rsnya..tho i presume nobody reads this.

And the main reason I'm writing pun is for my own reference.

beruntunglah if i have followers pun..i really thank you for reading :)

Today marks my 20th day being a mother of 2!Dh hampir 3weeks.Both my babies are now sound asleep.alhamdulillah.ada chance la mommy update apa yg patut..To summarize..mmg havoc and hectic. Everyday is a different day..esp with abgIman. ada je akalnya budak kenit ni..and I always see him as already the big brother, the older son..which sometimes i need to remind my self that Iman is only 15mths old. still very very young!

His reaction to baby amsyar..biasalah.nak kiss syg adek, then cungkil telinga, try cungkil mata..even in one attempt iman tried to bang lil bro's body dgn his motorcycle!..OMG! mmg kena perhati selalu..Sometimes I feel like he's just trying to get my attention. But I understand that my lil Iman is under stress..yelah.out of nowhere,ttb tengok dh muncul budak kenit yang 24-7 dok berdamping dgn mommy, need to stay at grandma's house where daddy tak ada pula..and not having to go to his babysitter's house where he could play ball and go to the playground everyday.His routine now totally changes. And i could see he misses daddy on weekdays.He tries to adapt tp everything is not the same. Mm..xpelah Iman..try to hold on,k syg? 

Only for these 40days.mommy promise!

It's quite a bliss that Zakiyya is already here for her summer holidays and Zaynab is in the house.Where Ali is always here to help with Iman and Aliyya is in holiday mood to help here and there. Alhamdulillah.Your own sisters and brothers are always your best helpers when it comes to worst times :)

I tried to spend each and every single spare minute i have when amsyar is asleep with Iman. And fortunately Amsyar is a night owl and sleeps most of the daytime.So, banyakla juga time i have for Iman, tho my mom says that those time should be used for sleeping as the mom should sleep when the baby sleeps. Nak buat camane..i have two babies.. (okayla three when daddy comes home! ;) ). I tried to do all the routines we usually do together.  i read to him, sing to him, feed him his pasta, and cuddle together for a nap in the afteranrroon. Sometimes i even bathe him when the wound doesn't hurt much. Just to make him feel that I'm still here for him. But some things are still not do-able. Not until this wound heals properly. I'm still with limited ability especialy in lifting things. The heaviest thing I've ever carried since the surgery is Amsyar.Iman at 12kgs is a big no-no la~

my love : iman at 15mths :)

As for me and Amsyar, i really thank Allah for the blessings this time for being able to breastfeed amsyar these 20days. I remember myself in misery pumping and sterilizing everything for Iman last time as he refused  direct feeding.So now if amsyar wants to be suckling all night long, i tried hard not to complaint as this is much much easier for me than last time. I thank you Allah that you granted my wish for this tho not for the VbaC wishes..but I know you have better plans for me ;)

Watching amsyar asleep, comparing to active Iman right now reminds me how Iman used to be before. So helpleass..so sweet..and yet in a blink of my eye..dah besar panjang. Dah bijak melompat lompat menonton boboiboy and upin ipin...dh bijak berguling2 in the playground in protes takmau balik..O..how  fast a human brain and physical develops..just imagine in 20yrs how they will grow.. and yet to me, these boys are still my babies..my sweet little babies. Betul la kata my mom dedulu..to her, I'm always her small 1st born baby. And i'll only understand that statement when i become myself a mother.

My sweetheart : Amsyar at 19days :)

Talking about vbac..I really wished for a vbac for this time but i never regret for this c-sect. Tak apalah..i redha..I want many children tapi tak adalah sampai 7-8org. Ideally for me is 4.Insyallah. Kita hnya meramcang-kan? Maybe I mati next year ke..so only these two boys ajelah penyambung zuriat keturunan saya.

The operation was smooth and baby amsyar was born in ease without complications. I was crying all the way through the operation, praying that everything would be ok. I don't know..i was just tremendously nervous by that time. Alhamdulillah in 30minutes they successfully brought out the baby, and amsyar's 1st cry made me cry even louder. 

Even the anaes doc tried to comfort me. 

She was sweet petite lady doctor who i remembered saying.. " dont cry pn zahra.everything is ok.see-your baby have a dimple!". I lose 450mL of blood during the surgery.

Thank you Allah, for still letting me breath for another 20days until this day.. :)

The recovery was quite a pain tho. The wound is now 5mm longer on each end than the previous one..and I was on epidural pethidine for the subsequent 2 and a half days. Bila pethidine habis je..Allah shj yang tahu betapa sakitnya.They stopped the drug on the 3rd day, and took off the urine bag. So i was forced to walk up myself to the toilet which was a great deal for me. On the first attempt i felt like my stomach was falling off..so i need to hold up my whole post pregnancy stomach which was like a flabby piece of meat to and fro. The deal in the toilet was really something else..i could'nt even bend down to change my own pad :'( 

Sakit nyerr! Thanks to my mom who was waiting on me and my husband who was always there to help. I was living on pain killers for the first 6days!!

Today, the wound is still healing. And the pain is really unnoticed except when it rains where you could sometimes feel like there is a knife slipping through. Sometimes laa..ngilu camtu..huhu~

I think maybe that is all for today.

I'll try to write an special entry on the birth story of Amsyar-full version and perhaps on confinement :)

I think the epidurals still have effects on my back which sometime aches so hard, i can hardly sleep.

Take care all of you . . .

Love, 

Zahra