A love tale

Love is always something special for me. 

Oh yes I'm just always hopelessly romantic like that.haha. Coming across a huge pregnant picture of me this morning, reminded me how wonderful was being pregnant like. Someone really important to me was growing inside of me. Mmg seronok. Now I'm home, laying down taking some time back from work, with two mini guys running around the house. Two mini versions of half me and half the person I love.

This reminded me of my own stories. im no beauty queen but life had given me my fair share :) I had reruns ofseveral episodes of my love stories. During highschool, it was all ups and downs and under and over but never the real thing. I found my 1st love when I was 19. And he was 5yrs older than me. He was way from North Africa. Oh yes he's an African hailing all the way from Chad. He's nice and gentle and a great Muslim. A final year IT student. Everything was nice that time until I was slapped into reality when I realized we could never get married. Then everything was getting much harder and we went desperate and seperated ways when I was in 2nd yr that time.

Then a 53yrs old (then) Malay trainer approached me during my facilitating days. I was 21, a camp counselor and an active camper. I joined a few summer camps and was actively involved in jungle trekkings and mountain climbing, and sleeping under the stars was becoming a routine. This old man was 53 but looked 33, was a retired soldier and wanted me as 3rd wife. I dated him and after a year we parted ways. I was dead crazy back then I guess ..pheww.. 3rd wife? What was I thinking!

I was lost and my semester pointer dropped to 3.0 that time, when one of my lecturers saved me. He was an Egyptian, with green eyes and a great heart and was a top professor in the campus. He noticed my grades. Well, he kind of noticed a lot of other things about me altogether. Hahaha. Time passed by and I was caught again in the love triangle. I don't know why but I have this soft spot for old guys that time. I swore by the name that young men could never win my heart..oh my of course I didn't realized how wrong could that be..hahaha

He was 38 and I was 22, but that was not an issue that time. My grades was great that time. I scored 3.9 at most but never scored flat 4.0. Well, I was dating an academician what do you expect.hahaha. It was all sugary and candy canes and butter mints until I got to know that he was already married! Married ok. I dated him 4yrs and how I didn't notice. It was really stupid. So that was the end of it. The end.

I dated another guy not long after. He was 2yrs older, worked in proton tgmalim and married with a kid but I didn't quite cared. Hahaha. He quited proton in 2009 and joined the government sector and was a great guy. I knew from the beginning that this will nvr work but just went on w the flow. We went out on alternate nights, the nights he was occupying his wife I went out with other guys.hahaha.. We stopped went his wife found out and went all gaga about it.hahhaha..gila.

Then by end of 2009 I had enough of men, and found my way a little bit closer to Allah and gave all my hopes and faith to Him in who he had chose to be the love of my life. I registered myself for masters study to find a good way umm to use my ample time and how to spend the money I earned. I prayed to Him for what he bestowed upon me as I was already ready to allow myself be forever alone.

1mth later, back from the 1st day of class in my newly registered sarjana school, a dark guy caught my attention by asking me about R3 cars. He was slim, handsome, talks with a pantaitimur accent and smelt nice. Then one thing led to another, i realized that this guy had great eyes, great confidence and a great heart. He won me with his antics, oh my. We were from different worlds but the spark was already there. Everything was alive, spontaneous and sparkling bright. We were much in love of course.We got married 6months after :)

To be frank, true love came when I least expected. He was 2yrs younger, and had a list of emma maembong look-a-likes as girlfriends with a reputation of more than one at once, even his father was surprised he chose me. And of course his father agreed with my motherly traits kehkehkeh.

Approaching 5yrs of marriage I am still hopelessly in love with this handsome guy and pray to Allah our jodoh is strong enough to bring us both, and our children blessed upon us to Jannah. Amin.

For the earlier 20s of my life, for all the people I met earlier in my life are all with reasons. And I forgive u all. Inshallah.

Amin.

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Spilling out the beans

Its approaching the end of year 2014
As I've registered both boys to Arif minda for 2015, its a goodbye to their 2nd mom
4thn sekelip mata rasanya. Dari ubun merah dan tapak kaki sebesar dua jari, kakak ini mengasuh Iman dan kemudiannya amsyar.Minggu ini minggu terakhir sebelum amsyar pun menjejak kan kaki ke playschool 3thn :) mommy pula yg sebak.

Tiada ucapan terima kasih yg setimpal boleh diungkapkan buat kakak ku ini.tiada pertalian darah namun sudah dianggap saudara. Anak2 dijaga lebih dr sempurna.alhmdulillah :)

Yesterday I have finally got the strength to burst the news. Takdelah news sgt. I just told her yg this will b the boys final week here. Her expression changed, she looked genuinely sad. Well I'm sad of course. Its hard to find trust and its not perfection that I'm searching for but Kakwan is near to perfect for me. Trust is a huge thing and I took quite some time at first. As time goes on it builts up of course. But life goes on as she says it, and we're letting go and the boys aren't babies no more. Sedih.

Today and tomorrow, will be the two last days..we're all emotionally hurt right now but Inshallah the ukhuwah will never end. Amsyar is her anak susuan, so we'll for sure keep in touch inshallah..ukhuwah fillah.

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Raining Christmas day. Banjir besar di pantai timur

We're just staying indoors at grandma's today and its just past asar. Its still raining here in sepang.wonder how it's there up east coast of Malaysia today.the flood is getter worse by day :'(


Don't really feel like writing. As the musibah in pantai Timur feels just too close to the heart.

Doakan mereka selamat semua hendaknya :'(





























Membayangkan anak2 sebaya Iman n amsyar yg dlm kelaparan n kesejukan :'(

Moga Allah lindungi mereka.
Amin ya rabbal alamin

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Long weekend has started...yeay!!

Hello world :)
Few more days to 2015. I just can't wait to turn over a new leaf. We have laid plans for the most wonderfuls, leaving the worst and taking what's left to learn forward.lessons of life.

Just came back from a wonderful training and received a wonderful news as my youngest brother in law is accepted to my old school! Wahh!! What would b more exciting! 12 yrs I had left and now I'm going back.so yeay!!





Esok cuti yeay! And I took an extra Friday leave already so our weekends will be looooong! Yeah!!! Let's plan some home activities! Yeay. Maybe we'll check out what we can do w our new books and setup a library checklist :)
And some vision board as well!

And of course some homemade specials.tis season! :p

Well amsyar will be attending his school orientation on the 28th so it will be a busy weekend juga lah kannn..my munchkin is going to school! No babies left...sobsob.


Well, no babies too soon so far.2yrs more if God's will. Inshallah :)

Happy holidays lovelies!!!

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Week before Christmas

Weekends are always filled w things I would like my children to remember. We had visitors to our house on Friday night bringing us lovely homemade nasi kerabu :) Iman&amsyar's tokngah and atok kuku as iman says it all the way from kelate :) (Hubby's aunty)

As for the bad banjir back in hometown kelate and all the defeated football stories we had a happy wkend.








Thanks for the comfort food! Nyummss

We also baked some more muffins on Sunday morning.the boys were soon happy on a rainy day at home. Well it rains and rains everyday now, we can hardly do anything outdoors!





Alhmdulillah we've already booked a place for amsyar as well in Arif minda. (And left mommy bankrupt!)

Tho only the 3yrs old registered, amsyar will do fine Inshallah.mommy believes in you!



Till then!








Love,

Zahra

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Blueberry jam muffins with raisins

Stressed out last night, I did some kitchen therapy (and some online retail theraphy as well :p). Work never ends.

Well its Friday so let's share some recipes :)

BLUEBERRY BREAKFAST MUFFINS

2 cups flour
1tsp baking powder
1 pinch salt

Whisk to mix

1 egg
1/2 cup of melted butter/oil
3/4cup of sugar
1 cup of fresh milk
1tsp vanilla essence

1 cup raisins
Blueberry jam

Add all ingredients into the flour mix (except the jam).
Stir in gently ( ala ala mcm buat cekodok).

Spoon batter into cupcake liners.
Bake for 20-30mins in 180deg C.

Eat while still hot with a spread of butter!

Yummsss!

Happy weekends everyone!

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Wishes for 2015

There are many things I wanted in life and up till today some I already had achieved. I try to set realistic goals but some of the too good-to-be-trues are soo tempting we still want to count them in. 2015 will be much exciting to anticipate. Walking for my 8th year career by early of the year, my 5th anniversary by the midyear and some exciting plans before the year ends, I have so much to look forward into.

As both boys will be attending pre-school next year, i really hope we can do more weekend homeschooling activities. As precious as time is, their innocence will not stay forever and I'm running out of the golden yrs faster than i realize. Basic plans - more cooking activity interactions and more book reading sessions inshallah. So far one storybook per night for bedtime is going on, consistently. I just wish I could spend more time before my cuddly teddy bears transform into 2 handsome lil men.




Let the flow flows and the wind blows, let Iman be what he likes to be. Of course with a watchful mommy's eyes. May both of them memorize the goodness and differentiate the bad out of it and love and be kind and gentle. And learnt more next year.Inshallah.



***


By year, hopes for Proton escalates fast down the sewage. Personally I love it here, the working freedom which enables you to learn things fast and in depth. There's not really a limit to what you can or cannot do, as long as the idea works. Some say its a nesting comfort zone. I'm not in denial but design work here is no comfort zone to me. Challenges are by daily basis but I still need to find the reasonings of the hardships endured related to the pay.

For 2015, I have laid big plans for our nest, our home. Long terms and of course short terms plans. Some improvement will do. I'm not looking for luxury, and home deco is not for the other people to see. So I do not need plaster ceilings with down lights, or a porch that fits 7cars. But I envision a garden w bunnies, a small pond with little fishes and some nice smelling flowers around it. I fancy white picket fences but hubs is against it. Maybe we'll have a mini white picket fence instead :) and some nice swings too.We'll see how kind 2015 will do for us. Inshallah.

I wish to be more humbled and kind this coming year. Working in a men's world had withered a good woman's value out of me. I wish to help more people out and give more in. And maybe try to find a volunteering work to do with the kids. I wish to inspire the people around me to change and improve especially those staying at same stage day after day, year after year. And most of all I wish to complaint less and do more and leave the rest to Allah as he is The Most Adil and The Most Merciful subhanallah.

No plans for new cars, no plans for a new home. Just simple plans and wishes from a humble zahra to be :)



Love.

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Gold Coast Morib. 11-12th Dec 2014

Planning ahead, we had a long weekend with a free Thursday public holiday on the 11th :),I booked two rooms in GCR [gold cost resort] for all of us. The second time for this year in fact because we liked the in room jacuzzi and the simple water park..just nice for a family with toddlers.

As it was a public holiday, the hotel was full! We only had our room at 2.30pm and had our packed lunch (homecooked,yeah!) before heading to the pool(s)!! Together with the stay we got 2 entrance tix complimentary. Children below 90cm enter for free else could be ticketed at rm20/person. Adults tix would be rm35. Iman is already 97cm but the gate lady discounted him 7cms, as we came in a large group ;p yeay!

Went down at 3.30 and came back up 30mins to 7! Hahaha..we had a blast! Hantu air semua!! After prayer we continued indoors in our room jacuzzis, warm and privately..a winner! That night was the AFF Suzuki game (semi finals) so we stayed in room watching games and nibbling on tidbits.a wonderful way to wind off kann?? He he he



The weather played nice with us throughout the 2 days stay alhmdulillah.pictures xbanyak sb semua sibuk mandi dr bergambar :p

















Breakfast was complimentary. And boleh lah..we had a great stay.alhmdulillah. If you don't really bother the ocean view or little itsy bitsies like extreme cleanliness of the room, GCR would be OK for you.if else forget it and find some lavish hotel in maldives.he he he.

20mins drive from BSP, it was great fun!






See you! Tata

Love,

Zahra


Ps-went 1st time back then in May.
#tips - purchase tickets/hotel voucher via groupon :)

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The Big Bad Wolf 2014!!

Hi uollss..
Haven't written in a long time kan?
Busy december i can say :)

Ending the year with some nice memories.
Maybe I'll post individual stories for each places we went. A long time off in coincidence with Hubby's large family coming to town, we had quite a blast!

Tata-ed everybody on Saturday, we had the house to ourselves again, and decided to have some book-spree therapy! Where else? The BBW big bad wolf grand sale laaa :) Miecc is just 20mins away so..apalagikk

We went on prime time this yr around.8.30pm-11pm.and not bad..the crowd was manageable.the boys were too..as they happily picked books to their likings. This year's theme for them is (are) astronauts &space and of course Insects&reptiles. We grabbed some encyclopedias on that and some bedtime story books as well :)







Mommy got some grabs too. My favorites were one Khalid Hossaini Novel and one Nigella cookbook for rm3! Got an automotive hardcover for rm3 as well. So I'm one happy mama. Malay novels were also tempting priced as low as rm5..I just don't know which one to choose ending up to bringing home none.kehkehkeh. xpolah I got 3 novels for rm20 already.

Such a bargain.alhmdulillah.in total we got 40books a new home, our home. I love books. I can see the boys shared some of my passion as well for now,alhmdulillah. Read, mommy don't mind.read till your books go withered..mommy will buy u more.the passion is what money can't buy :)


Mujur books are tax deductabled so..we'll for sure come again next year! Yeay!!





Grab yours cepat! The sale had been extended.





#bookworm alert! :)

Love,

Zahra

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Cheesekut and special cake for mak

Happy 15th birthday Mak! :)
These cakes were made by Iman n amsyar tau.hehehehe

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Productive day

Self proclaimed.hahaha..
Well..kdg2 taksalah kan.so let's call it a day and watch pencetus ummah 2.0 tonight. And bake some cakes..

Tomorrow is mak's birthday!

Kbai

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WW-MAHA 2014 nice trip :)

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Negotiation Skill Training day 2

Its a relieve to be out of office once in a while :)

Training is fun esp soft skills training. I've learnt few life lessons of not to be easy and not to be arrogant and times to take advantage of our real advantages in business. Nice :)

One adik really made my day tho. He asked me how long along I was already in service. He guessed 3. And furthermore he guessed I was still single. Ala dikk .. Muda nau.

But ok. I take that as a complement. Well more flesh on your cheeks really takes a toll on youth kan? Hehehe. Krg kedut sb daging tegang.kehkehkeh.

OK.completing the course soon.
Now I'm a certified negotiator.so beware!! Hahahaha.

Kbai

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Do things with integrity

Alhmdulillah.
Some things learnt during training today.
Indirectly, but made me think.


Things done, are they with integrity?
Who are we to questions His rizq and to whom he provides more to as we do not know who prays before dawn asking from dawn while you are still under your blankets.


 Surah At-Talaq, Verse 3:
وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا

Serta memberinya rezeki dari jalan yang tidak terlintas di hatinya. Dan (Ingatlah), sesiapa berserah diri bulat-bulat kepada Allah, maka Allah cukuplah baginya (untuk menolong dan menyelamatkannya). Sesungguhnya Allah tetap melakukan segala perkara yang dikehendakiNya. Allah telahpun menentukan kadar dan masa bagi berlakunya tiap-tiap sesuatu.



The money they paid you goes into the food you feed your kids..





Surah Al-Mulk, Verse 12:
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَيْبِ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَأَجْرٌ كَبِيرٌ

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang takut (melanggar hukum) Tuhannya semasa mereka tidak dilihat orang dan semasa mereka tidak melihat azab Tuhan, mereka beroleh keampunan dan pahala yang besar.


Mashallah

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Rainbows and rainbow cakes

Hi lovelies!
Baking mood on lately ladies? This shall be my favorite infused cake with my version :) Recipe is already given before.email me if u like to have it personally :)

Favorite of these two. skrg dh pandai request nk bwk g Rumah ibu.as everybody's already in school holidays mood, kita duduk Rumah ibu jelah these 2mths. Next year dua dua dh kna hantar school. Well Iman started playschool at 3 so Amsyar pun we'll do the same.for sure :)

There were some arguments in my fb group talking about appropriate pre-school age.but one mom was so furious about kids being bored at school when sent at small age.her idea was that by 16 they'll already be bored of school.I'm no genius but I know that at this age, if being given a chance I'll continue my studies.its fun to learn new things. Trainings are always things I look forward to being in the workforce so the processes is a long continuous process and have no endings.please..never say knowledge is boring. please!



Wallahi, hati ini berasa berat beberapa hari ini.but all in all I went back to meet my mother to ease the uneasiness. Its just the feeling of meeting this special wonder woman that gives me the calmness its just amazing. I hope my kids will feel some sort of comfort like that too.Inshallah. it is called kembali to fitrah.

Maybe it is my fault of not being open and accepting my in laws as they are. Agaknya kna lbh ikhlas supaya lbh murah rezeki. I kept questioning why my FIL is no longer working, cannot drive far when he is only one yr older than my father. While my father is working his brains out traveling all over the world to complete his tasks, yet his salary is being taxed 26%. Is this what we call justice..but I know I cannot question this.. T_T I don't know why I'm even writing this.

I need some motivations.on life.
Work is OK alhmdulillah.but I think I've been too frank lately that I forgot to be humble. I type emails which I keep for one hour, then reread before hitting the send button.

Please Allah help me.
Berkatilah rezeki anak2ku.



Zahra

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5 Things I learnt from my working mom

Working moms worry about many things: How are they going to fit everything into 24 hours a day? How will they stay sane? And, most importantly, how will their decision to work affect their children?

 

The truth is that working moms are awesome and no one knows this as well as I do. My mom was the main breadwinner of my family, and always has been. And even though I became a SAHM, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned from my mom. Starting with these things…

 

1. Do what you love. My brother and I are always joking how our parents spoiled us work-wise. Both my father and my mom love their jobs and since this is all that we know, we won’t settle for anything less. I believe that everyone should have something that they love doing. This can be a job, a hobby, a passion, a dream– anything really, and it doesn’t have to be big, either. Because if we have at least one thing we love doing, our lives will be a little bit brighter.


2. Work hard. My mom was not only brilliant at her job, she also worked extremely hard at it, and made sure that everything she did was done well. And she was right, because hard work pays off for everyone. Maybe we want to be good at what we’re doing, or we work hard to support our family. But whatever it is we want to do, we should put lots of thought and effort into it.



3. Take care of your needs. My mom needed a lot of alone time and since I’ve had children, I do, too. It’s one of the reasons I send my children to daycare even though I don’t work. I don’t function very well without down time, and I can fully understand every mother who feels the same way. After all, every parent needs some time to switch off, regroup, and actually finish that cup of coffee. Our needs are just as important as the needs of our children, they’re just easier to ignore.

 

4. Never judge other mothers. My mother has always been the type who did her own thing and never cared what others thought of her. She just wanted to do her job, and to do it well. But she never judged other mothers whether they decided to stay at home or work. Her point is that everyone just does their best according to their circumstances, personal traits and possibilities, and that judgment never makes sense. I believe it’s a good philosophy to live by.

 

5. Be a role model for your children. A friend once told me one of the reasons she works is because she has daughters. It’s very important to show girls- and boys- that mothers can work, even if the whole world may tell them that they shouldn’t. I am a SAHM but I sometimes talk about gender roles with my children. Thanks to my mom, I can tell them: “Of course women can work; after all, your grandmother does too!” My mother has always stressed the importance that being independent has for women and I fully agree.

 

Having a working mother is a gift. Without her, I wouldn’t even know what is possible. I wouldn’t work so hard to pursue my dreams. And of course I want to provide the same inspiration and be a role model to my children as well.

If you are a working mother, please remember that not only will your children take no harm from you having a job, but will very likely to be grateful to have such a hardworking, inspiring mother.

From : www.scarymommy.com


*my mom is always an inspiration for me to juggle both career n personal life. I understand when people wanted to be stay at home moms where their moms who were also sahm. And some just do not like to be seperated from the little ones. For me, work is me-time. I could things without a small boss bossing me around..hehehe.Well, do things that u love most.nobody has the right to judge u.



Have a nice Monday! :)

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Tadika Arif Minda BSP dihatiku

Alhamdulillah.

Zulhadzrey Iman is three this yr going on four next February. Born as the first of the first, he is highly spirited and strong willed. My son, my first born.

The moment I found out of this school, I was really excited to know what they have to offer, and alhmduliillah forking out pennies from my small 'ladybug' bank, we managed to pay the registration fees. Today 11mths later, I felt it was worth every penny alhmdulillah.

Iman, my rough small boy now changes into a small soft spoken boy, independent and witty as he should. The environment and growth development have transformed my quiet mysterious munchkin into a creative chatterbox. Alhmdulillah. All these positive improvements were what I hoped for actually from his school. He has tones of friends and is noticably much more happier, alhmdulillah. As a mother, that is enough for me.

In terms of books and academical items, this school had put me beyond expectations for a playschool. So far, Iman nvr had homeworks which I like about it. All learnings and projects were done at school. On final report card day, I was presented with 3 scrapbooks of activities all year along.mashallah.

For a 3yo, i was astonished to find out that Iman had finished his Furqan, Read-easy and Bacalah Anakku book 1. Knowing his tantrums, hyperactiveness and dramas, this made me proud. Alhmdulillah Iman, u hv made it! Thank u Allah. Thank u teachers! :)

They have a lot of activities, but this year the only thing that bothers me is there were no sports day.hmm.. But they have a year end ihtifal. Kids performing in drama, pantomime, dance and singings. I was amazed on how iman's teacher can get him dancing in line for a whole 10mins presentation. 5 and 6 year olds were given tasks of becoming emcees of the day.

Final verdict of this school :: of course 5*! Yeay.
Cleanliness is alhmdulillah never an issue. Alhmdulillah for this rizq Ya Allah. Mashallah.
Congrats Arifminda team.keep it up.

Thank u teachers.jzkk
I'm trusting u with another munchkin next year #zulhafidzeyAmsyar :)


Love,

Zahra

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Restoran Bisikbisik Seksyen 7 Shah Alam

Alhmdulillah we had a chance to grab dinner here last night. Located near to UniSel just across the well known Hakim restaurant, this place was not difficult to locate.

Serving a variety of food ranging from Johorean authentic delicacies like kacang pol, mee bandung, mee rebus tulang to western staples like fish and chips, we took quite some time to decide on the menu. Johor specialty drinks like air kathira and bandung soda was also available

By last we decided on one nasi goreng and one mee rebus tulang. And tried some bandung soda.

Mee rebus tulang

The famous kacang pol

Nasi grg daging merah.

The verdict was... Really great.
Food was nice. Place clean (well quite).
And service was fast!
Price was also affordably cheap!

So all in all we give 4*!

Thumbs up.
Will definitely come again for next menu : mee bandung udang galah! And perhaps more of their marvellous jelly kelapa and otak otak!

Picture courtesy of Google

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